Faded Glory
by deagh
Summary: Long after the Fifth Blight, a scholar researching the events at Ostagar finds more than she bargained for.  Written for a Dragon Age Writer's Corner Halloween Challenge.  OC/Cailan


**A/N: This piece was written in response to a challenge on the Dragon Age Writer's Corner forum (found here on FF dot net). The challenge: :I have an idea :D. Why don't we all write something creepy and haunting in commemoration of Halloween? Something dark, heavy, gruesome, etc. It can be about anything or anyone your little heart desires." I didn't get this done for Halloween, but the idea just would not shut up in my head, so I have digressed from my NaNoWriMo piece to finish it. I'm not entirely happy with it, as it is not really dark, heavy, or gruesome, but it will have to do. Perhaps if I share it then I will stop obsessing over it!**

**This takes place in the same AU as my other pieces "Change of Plans", "Ferelden's Most Eligible Bachelor", et al.**

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><p>The Darkspawn were everywhere. The archers had done what they could, but the monsters were too close now. Everyone was in melee with whatever weapons they had. Aliana flung fireball after fireball, but for each vile creature that collapsed into a smoking ruin, it seemed that two more took their place. One of them approached closely – too close for a fireball – and she did the only thing she could think to do, swing her staff. It connected with the Darkspawn's head with a satisfying crunch, sending the creature sprawling. Where were Teryn Loghain and his reserves? They should have engaged by now, Aliana thought. She spared a moment to glance towards where the Teryn's forces should be coming from and gaped in shock when she saw the Teryn's banner moving…away…<p>

"He's not coming…" she said to herself. She turned and looked towards the king's banner. It was still flying, but the king's men had to be hard-pressed by now. She turned back towards the Darkspawn horde and watched in horror as the one that she thought she had just killed began to rise anew, black blood streaming from its temple. A scream tore from her throat as its hands, hooked into claws, reached for her throat.

The screams were still echoing off the stone walls of Aliana's quarters when she sat up, heart pounding. She willed her heart and breathing to slow and sighed. That was nothing like her usual dreams regarding the Fifth Blight. She usually dreamt of being a Grey Warden, or sometimes she had rather…lurid…dreams involving King Cailan or King Alistair. She'd been enchanted by both Theirin brothers the first time she'd seen their portraits, King Cailan especially, since he'd died so young. This dream, however, was completely different. She really should not have read that journal so late in the evening, but when the copy of First Enchanter Wynne's journal had arrived from the Ferelden University of Magi at Kinloch Hold, she had been so excited she had to start reading right away. First Enchanter Wynne apparently had a talent for writing, and so her description of the Massacre at Ostagar…or as she had called it, the Battle of Ostagar, had been all too real. It was easily one of the best firsthand accounts of the Blight that she had ever read. Warden-Commander Cousland's was probably at least as good, but the Grey Wardens guarded their secrets more closely than an Antivan nobleman guarded his daughters. It would take a visitation from Andraste herself to make them allow Aliana to see that journal, and perhaps not even then. Maker knew she had asked them again and again, but she was getting nowhere. So she'd taken to looking for other avenues of inquiry. She'd gleaned some useful information from King Alistair's papers, but he had not written much about the Blight – he really had not been one for keeping a journal, it seemed. Most of what she'd found had actually been in the _queen's_ journal. That was where Aliana had found her best account of the demonic events at Redcliffe Castle, in fact. King Alistair had described it in detail to his wife and she had recorded it in her journal. Of course, she'd also editorialized quite a bit, blaming the Arlessa of Redcliffe for the entire affair, but Aliana had a great deal of practice sifting facts from such biased accounts.

"This is not helping me sleep," she muttered as she got up to pour herself a glass of water from the carafe she kept on her dressing table. She missed her rooms at the University of Val Royeaux – they had full indoor plumbing, including a basin sink with running water. The Scholar's Enclave at the University of Ferelden dated back to the time of the Blight – it had supposedly once been part of the Arl of Denerim's estate – so it had no such amenities. She was willing to put up with the rough conditions, though, as almost all surviving records of the Blight were here in Ferelden, either in Denerim in the university archives, or at the Mage University archives at Kinloch Hold. She'd been told by her advisor that if she wanted to research the Fifth Blight, then she would have to put up with the smell of wet dog. Of course, Ferelden didn't smell like wet dog, not really, but it was much more rustic than she was used to. She finished her water and looked out the window again. No light in the sky at all – she should really try to sleep some more.

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><p>The Darkspawn were everywhere. The marbari charge had thinned their numbers a bit, but they just kept coming. Aliana shot bolt after bolt from her staff, but for each one that fell, it seemed that two more horrors took their place. All around her archers had dropped their bows and were fighting with their melee weapons. She supported them however she could, praying the Teryn's forces would get to them in time.<p>

"The Teryn, he's quitting the field!" called someone. The soldiers carried the news across the battlefield quickly, but Aliana didn't have time to turn and look, for she was too busy fighting for her life. The Darkspawn that she'd been blasting finally stopped coming. Maker's Breath, they were hard to kill. She fell back – just short of breaking and running, really – and headed towards the king's banner. They'd need every able person if they had any hope of getting him out alive. As she approached the King's banner she saw him – his golden armour made him easy to spot – fighting against the Darkspawn. He was cutting swaths through them right and left with a big two handed sword, but there were several that were moving to flank him. She shot a bolt of ice at one and quickly cast a paralysis glyph at the other. Her glyphs were weak at the best of times, but it should at least buy some time. King Cailan turned to deal with the one she'd slowed with her ice spell and sliced off his head. He craned his neck, probably to look for the mage who had cast the spell, and spotted her. He grinned at her and saluted briefly, then went back to killing darkspawn. Aliana flushed at the smile – he was a very handsome man – and then chided herself for being silly; he was simply acknowledging that she'd assisted him. She shook off the feeling and went back to killing darkspawn, making her way closer to the king's side as she could.

"Your Majesty, we have to get you out of here!" she yelled at him. He shook his head and killed another Darkspawn. "I can't abandon my people!" he shouted back.

"Your Majesty, you have to escape! If you don't, Ferelden will—" she broke off to shoot a bolt at a Hurlock that was approaching the king, then continued "-plunge into chaos!"

"You don't understand; I'm already dead – the best I can do is take as many with me as I can," he said, and then staggered back as he was approached by what must be an ogre, Aliana thought. She'd never seen one, but nothing else could be that massive. The ogre reached for the king, but was pushed back when Aliana cast a wall of force at him. The ogre shook off the spell and continued his advance, but Aliana had given the king time to get out of the way. He circled behind the beast, looking for an opening, as Aliana threw every bit of magic she had at the monster. Her spells held the creature back for a time, but eventually her mana ran out and the ogre grabbed her. She beat it about the head and shoulders with her staff, to no avail. The ogre's grip tightened and her vision went red and then began to fade. The last thing she remembered seeing before everything went black was King Cailan's face. He looked…surprised? Aliana had just enough time to wonder why he would look surprised by the sight of an ogre killing someone, and then she knew nothing.

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><p>Aliana's eyes opened and she found herself in the unformed lands of the Fade, which was what she expected after the encounter with the ogre – no one could have survived that. Something didn't seem right, though…there was something more. Her brow furrowed as she struggled to remember. The Fade did that, even to mages. Everything began to blur and…fade…unless one concentrated on remembering.<p>

"You know, this must be my lucky day. That's the first time _anyone_ has ever managed to save me from that ogre, much less a lady as pretty as yourself," spoke a pleasant tenor from behind her. She turned to see …King Cailan? He was wearing a simple tunic and trews, not the golden armour from the battlefield, but it was definitely him. He was smiling the same smile that had made her blush on the battlefield.

"Your Majesty? First time? The battle…I…wait…" Aliana said, her confusion growing. She had just been in the Battle of Ostagar, but she remembered reading about the battle in a journal. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She was so confused.

"Where am I?" she finally asked.

"You're in the Fade, but I think you know that," King Cailan said, pleasantly. Aliana remembered – First Enchanter Wynne's journal. She had been reading about Ostagar before she slept. She was in the Fade not because she was dead, but because she was dreaming.

"Well, yes, but…" she said.

"You got pulled into Ostagar. I...re-experience it from time to time. I was about to say 'relive' it, but that's not quite right, now is it?" he said with a wry smile.

Aliana's heart went out to him. He was trapped in the Fade, having to experience the Massacre at Ostagar over and over? Surely there was something she could do to help him...a thought which made her breath catch in horror. It was one of the first things they taught at the mage academy…that's how they pulled you in…they got your sympathy.

"_Demon_…" she hissed, which made Cailan raise an eyebrow. "Me?" he asked in surprise, but then nodded. "I can see why you might think so, but no," he said. His voice was more…boyish…than she'd imagined, and Maker knew she'd imagined his voice often enough. She'd always imagined it deeper than it was….Kings should have deep voices, she thought. Of course, the current Emperor of Orlais certainly didn't. He was rather…effeminate…though, and King Cailan was most certainly not that. His voice suited him – warm and kind. _Merde, _he was doing it to her again, she thought.

"Prove it, Demon," she said, holding her staff between them.

"I can't, not in any way you'd believe," he answered, which, oddly, made her almost believe him. That's how they got you, though, or at least that's what she'd always been taught. She'd never encountered a demon – her little drabble of power was not a tempting enough target. Well, as long as she stayed on her guard there was no harm talking to him…and he _might_ be King Cailan's spirit. Stranger things had happened in the Fade.

"Look, I'm sorry you got pulled into that. I am not really sure how it happened," he said.

"I was reading First Enchanter Wynne's account of the battle," she said, which made him nod.

"Ah, that would make sense. I used to get a lot more…dreamers…I suppose, back when there were survivors. They would remember the battle and get pulled in. They remembered what actually happened, though, so I have been killed many times. No one has ever tried to save me before, much less done so. Thank you, I am in your debt," he said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. Aliana blushed again. She should probably pull her fingers from his grasp, but she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. His fingers were warm, and his eyes were so blue and his smile was so winning that she couldn't help but smile back.

"Why are you still here, assuming you aren't a demon? Shouldn't you have moved on by now?" she asked.

"Maybe…but I'm not sure what comes next. There's never been any real urge to _move on_, as it were. Besides, I want to watch over my people. Maker knows I failed at that when I was alive," he said.

_Could this really be the spirit of King Cailan?_ Aliana thought to herself. If it was, then this was an opportunity she could not pass up. Even if he were a demon, she should be safe enough as long as she didn't allow him access to her thoughts.

"You didn't fail them," she said. "History tells us that Ostagar was a gamble, one that could have paid off if Teryn Loghain had done what you had ordered him to do," Aliana said, which made King Cailan look at her in gratitude. She flushed and smiled at the look and then continued. "Your Majesty…could I ask you some questions? I'm studying the Fifth Blight…and after all this time, first-hand accounts are rather hard to come by. It's two hundred years after the fact," she said.

"I suppose they are, and please, call me Cailan. I can't tell you much detail past the Battle of Ostagar, you know," he said, then gestured to a blanket that was spread out on the grass that surrounded them. When had that appeared? Well, the Fade was often whatever you wanted it to be, she thought, and joined him on the blanket. She didn't even notice that he still had hold of her hand.

"That's all right; please just tell me what you can," she said.

Cailan thought for a moment, moving his thumb in lazy circles across the backs of Aliana's fingers as he did so. She fought to quash the _frisson_ of awareness that flowed through her at his touch. She'd thought him handsome before – she'd seen several portraits of him, over the years. She had a copy of one that she looked at more often than she cared to admit. It was a copy of the portrait of him that hung in the Landsmeet chamber in Denerim. It was a good likeness, but it did not do him justice. His eyes were warm and friendly, something that the artist who had painted him had definitely not managed to capture.

"You know, we weren't even sure it was a Blight at first. The Grey Wardens were insisting that it was, but it had been so very long since the Fourth Blight that we thought perhaps it was wishful thinking, you know? The Wardens do nothing but prepare for the next Blight, so who could blame them for hoping it had arrived on their watch?" Cailan asked. Aliana found herself nodding. His statement agreed with some of the things she'd read. Teryn Loghain had said much the same thing in his memoirs.

"We took the army to Ostagar, thinking it would be a quick and easy victory. Oh how wrong we were," Cailan said, ruefully shaking his head. Aliana laced her fingers through his and squeezed, which made him look up at her and smile. She'd always imagined that he'd been tortured by what had happened there, and she was right. She ached to comfort him, but wasn't really sure how she could do so.

"What I saw, before…was that how it was?" she asked.

"More or less, yes, at least for that final battle. We'd been skirmishing with them for several days before that," he said.

"I'd read that," she answered.

"We'd won victories against them, with relatively few losses. I think now that the Archdemon was lulling us into a false sense of security," he said, which made Aliana raise an eyebrow. "So you also think that the Archdemon was…"

"Intelligent," Cailan finished with a nod. "The later events bore that out. It had the horde feint at Redcliffe, after all," he said.

"That almost worked," she said.

"Oh yes, it almost did. But it didn't, luckily for Ferelden," he said. "But enough about that. Tell me of Ferelden? I sometimes see a few things when people dream, but it's not the same. Please, tell me what my country has become?" he asked, turning her hand over and tracing his thumb across the sensitive skin of her palm. She looked down at their joined hands and then back up at his face. His blue eyes were full of longing…longing that she could not resist.

She told him of the city of Denerim, how it had been rebuilt by his brother – rebuilt into something that, while not as glorious as Val Royeaux, had become one of the larger cities in Thedas. She told him of Kinloch Hold, which had become the first Circle to free its mages, several years before the Kirkwall chantry had been destroyed. After the explosion in Kirkwall the mages had rebelled all across Thedas, except for Ferelden, where they were already free. Kinloch Hold became the first University of Magi, a place where mages were educated, rather than imprisoned. The elves still lived in Alienages all across Thedas, but conditions for them had improved as well. Ferelden was no paradise, of course, there was still poverty, injustice, and all manner of other problems, but it was now considered one of the more enlightened countries in Thedas.

"Ferelden had a Golden Age," she said, which made him smile and clasp her hands with both of his own.

"I had thought so, from what little I have seen, but I wondered if it was just wishful thinking. Thank you, thank you for telling me this," he said, and then leaned forward and gently kissed her. Aliana closed her eyes and savored the feel of his lips against hers.

"_No demon could kiss like this_," she thought to herself as Cailan, sensing her willing participation, deepened the kiss. She knew she shouldn't do this, not with a man she'd just barely met, but she'd spent the past year and more finding out all she could about King Cailan as part of her Blight research, she felt she _knew _him. And besides, this was the Fade. Nothing she did here would carry over to the real world. All too soon he pulled away, leaving her feeling...bereft.

"I beg your forgiveness, dear lady, for my presumption. I did not mean…but it has been so very long," he said, which made Aliana shake her head.

"No forgiveness necessary, Cailan. I was very much a willing participant," she said.

"Then you are as kind as you are beautiful, dear lady. I…confess I do not know your name, which makes my presumption even more unforgivable," Cailan said, although the twinkle in his eyes and the sly half-smile which graced his lips told Aliana that he was not in the least sorry for what he had done.

"Aliana," she said, which made Cailan's smile grow wider.

"What a lovely name - is it Orlesian, like yourself? I've not heard it before."

"It is…I'm named for Leliana the Blight Companion, although my mother changed it a bit so that I'd be different than the other girls. It's a rather popular name, although not so much as it once was. There was a time that half the women in Orlais were named for her," Aliana said, which made Cailan chuckle.

"I imagine it was the same in Ferelden, was it not?" he asked.

"Oh yes, there have been many, many children named for the Blight Companions," Aliana said.

Cailan smiled at her and sighed, wistfully. "As delightful as this has been, you should go. You know that if you spend too much time here…"

"…my body will waste away, I know. I…have enjoyed this," Aliana confessed.

"As have I. It has been far too long since I have done more than watch. Everyone I knew has..moved on," he said sadly.

"Could I…would I be able to find you again? I am a mage, if a poor one. I _can_ walk the Fade," she said, which made Cailan squeeze her hand.

"I would enjoy that very much. I think…I think I can find you when you return to the Fade, if you will allow me to do so," he said.

"How would I do that?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," he said with a self-deprecating laugh. "Maybe you just have to be in the Fade, I don't know. I'll find you, somehow," he said, and then released her hands and got up, stepping back. Aliana closed her eyes and the Fade slipped away…

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><p>Aliana spent the day in her rooms with First Enchanter Wynne's journal, although she did not reread the account of the Battle of Ostagar. She focused instead on the mage's observations of the Blight Companions, specifically Ser Alistair, who later went on, of course, to become King Alistair. If Aliana was honest with herself, she was reading about Cailan's brother in the hopes of getting to know Cailan better, although reading about King Alistair during the Blight was useful to her research in and of itself. He had been the one to rebuild Ferelden after the Archdemon was killed, after all. She filled several pages of her notebook with her observations and then went in search of something to eat, her growling stomach reminding her that she'd had little to eat that day. While she ate her meal – the local cookshops paled in comparison to Orlesian food, but it was hearty and filling – she was reminded of Enchanter Wynne's rather acerbic comments about King Alistair's cooking skill, or lack thereof. She wondered if Cailan had been able to cook, but then shook her head at her silliness. He was royalty – of course he couldn't cook. He'd had servants to do that for him. She decided she'd ask him if she managed to find him again. She hurried back to her rooms to go to bed early and see if she could do just that.<p>

Aliana became aware in the unformed lands of the Fade, glad to not be at Ostagar again, although sad that Cailan seemed to be nowhere in sight. She wandered aimlessly for a time, becoming less and less hopeful with every step she took. She finally stopped and absently chewed her thumbnail while she thought about what she might do to find him.

"'Allow him to find me', he said. What does that mean?" she asked herself, then hit her forehead with the palm of her hand as the problem occurred to her. As a mage she had been taught from the first manifestation of her magic to guard her aura while in the Fade in order to keep the demons from noticing her. She excelled in concealment – it was fairly easy to conceal power when one had so little to begin with, after all – so it was likely that Cailan had no idea she was even in the Fade. But how was she to let him know without advertising her presence to demons? Perhaps if she concentrated on Cailan and the connection she'd felt to him when they had been together? She closed her eyes and hoped.

After what seemed like an eternity – it could well have been, since this was the Fade – she felt his presence. Aliana opened her eyes to see Cailan's bright blue eyes and winning smile.

"I knew you could do it!" he said, taking her in his arms and kissing her.

"Well, hello to you too," she said once he'd broken the kiss, which made him grin that adorable boyish grin of his.

"Sorry..well, not really. I missed you," he said.

"I missed you too," she answered, face flushing as she did so, and no wonder. She'd been fantasizing about King Cailan since she had first read about The Fifth Blight. The story of his unhappy marriage to the frigid Queen Anora was in and of itself enough to make an impressionable young girl weep with the injustice of it all, but then add in the fact that he and Empress Celine had begun exchanging letters in regards to a marriage alliance – letters that became increasingly warm as one read through them – and then the untimely death of the golden king? It was romantic tragedy at its finest. No wonder she'd been hooked. And now…now she had the spirit of the man right in front of her here in the Fade, and he'd kissed her – not just once but twice! It was almost too good to be true, she thought, which made her bite her lip.

"Hey, now, what's that look?" Cailan asked, lifting her chin so he could meet her gaze.

"I'm just worried…" she said, then broke off and looked away.

"Ah, still think I might be a demon? You know, I really can't blame you for that. In your place I think I'd think the same thing," he said, brightly.

"You're not angry?"

"Of course not. You're a mage, so you're taught from childhood that the Fade is a land full of demons who are out to steal away your soul," he said, voice deepening and hands feinting a grab at her throat. The gesture was so melodramatic that she laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. If he were a demon…he had a lot of power and a lot of experience with people, to be able to mimic one so well…and what would a demon that powerful want with her? She just couldn't fathom it.

"Well, you're here, so even if you aren't sure I'm not a demon, you don't seem to be convinced that I _am_ one, so I'll simply be grateful for your company. Come, I have carved out a small corner of the Fade as my own. It's quite….private. I'd love to show it to you," Cailan said. Aliana raised an eyebrow, wondering if he meant what she thought he meant. Cailan lifted one of his own brows in response and reached out his hand. It was such a…human…gesture that Aliana simply could not believe that he was anything else. He was Cailan, he must be. Decision made, Aliana firmly put her hand in his. Cailan looked at her and smiled – the same lopsided sly smile that she'd seen in his portraits - and then led her deeper into the Fade. She did not look back.


End file.
